Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The 100 Years War.

Unlike any other city, Chicago has a love affair with it's Cubs. For 100 years Cubs fans have watched their team pitch, catch, bat and lose. The losing is so historic and monumental that it is celebrated like no other failure in sports. Around town the Cubs are respectfully known as the "Lovable Losers" by friend and foe alike. For years Cub fans would look upon weepy, loathsome Red Sox fans and laugh. What a bunch of pussies. So they sold the Babe. At least you got a broadway play out of it. Ernie "Mr. Cub" Banks never even played in the playoffs.

For most of us it's hard to put in perspective just what 100 years means. Just think about that number! If you were celebrating your 100th birthday this year you weren't alive for the last Cubbies' World Series parade. But in case you are having trouble bending your mind around that number you're in luck because I have compiled a partial list of events that have happened since the last time the Cubbies called themselves baseball's best. Enjoy!

1908
   
  Cubs win their 2nd and last World Series.

1909

* Instant coffee invented by G. Washington.

1910

* Thomas Edison demonstrated the first talking motion picture.

1912

* Motorized movie cameras invented, replaced hand-cranked cameras.
* The first tank patented by Australian inventor De La Mole.
* Clarence Crane created Life Savers.

1913

* The crossword puzzle invented by Arthur Wynne.
* The Merck Chemical Company patented, what is now know as Ecstasy.
* Mary Phelps Jacob invents the bra.
* Gideon Sundback invented the modern zipper.

1916
   
   Cubs move into Wrigley Field
* Radios tuners invented, that received different stations.
* Stainless steel invented by Henry Brearly.

1918

* Charles Jung invented fortune cookies.

1920

* The tommy gun patented by John T Thompson.
* The Band-Aid invented by Earle Dickson.

1923

* Garrett A. Morgan invents a traffic signal.
* Clarence Birdseye invents frozen food.

1926

* Robert H. Goddard invents liquid-fueled rockets.

1927

* Eduard Haas III invents PEZ candy.
* Philip Drinker invents the iron lung.

1928

* Jacob Schick patented the electric shaver.

1929

* Yo-Yo invented as an American fad.

1935

* The first canned beer made.

1936

* Samuel Colt patents the Colt revolver.

1937

* The first jet engine is built.

1938

* The ballpoint pen invented by Ladislo Biro.

1939

* Igor Sikorsky invents the first successful helicopter.

1943

* Richard James invents the slinky.
* James Wright invent silly putty.
* Swiss chemist, Albert Hofmann discovered the hallucinogenic properties of LSD.

1944

* The kidney dialysis machine invented by Willem Kolff.

1945

* The atomic bomb invented.

1950

* The first credit card (Diners) invented by Ralph Schneider.

1951

* Super glue invented.

1952

* Mr. Potato Head patented.
* The first diet soft drink sold.

1954

* Ray Kroc started McDonald's.

1961

* Valium invented.
* The non-dairy creamer invented.

1967

* The first handheld calculator invented.

1969

* The arpanet (first internet) invented.
* The artificial heart invented.

1971

* VCR or videocassette recorder invented.

1972

* Pong (first video game) invented by Nolan Bushnell.

1973

* Bic invents the disposable lighter.

1979

* Cellular phones invented.
* Walkman invented.
* Scott Olson invents roller blades.

1984

* The Apple Macintosh invented.

1985

* Windows program invented by Microsoft.

1989

* High-definition television invented.

1998

* Viagra invented.

Friday, February 20, 2009

The A-Fraud in All of Us.

As spring training starts anew and the boys of summer sharpen their skills for a new season, let's not forget that baseball is just a game. Entertainment. Folly. Fun. Something to help us waste time between drinking binges.

We should also not forget that the real solution to the steroids issue in sports is not banning and testing. The real solution is making them mandatory. (Which seemed to be the policy of baseball and Bud Selig from about 1988 till 2005)

Seriously. Mandatory steroid use would level the playing field and make for better games. And isn't that what we really want anyway?

I know that more than a few of you have a problem with that line of reasoning. There are some of your who will lean on the tired crutch of the "purity of the game" argument. But doesn't technology always change the game over time? Including medical advances like steroids.

There are some of you who would posit the argument that athletes using steroids is a bad influence on your kids. But ask yourself, what's the influence of the 900 beer commercials they see while watching a sporting event?

No, the real thing that we dislike about A-Rod and his ilk is not the steroids, it's the hypocrisy and self-deception involved. His and ours. Because we know in our hearts that if someone offered us the chance to do steroids, play baseball and make tons of cash we'd do it in an instant. And that makes us feel dirty.

So we climb up on our high horse and shout condemnations. But it's fake and self serving. So drop you phony moral outrage and remember... it's just a game.